My Own Twisted
by tranquilite
Summary: Harry is angry, frustrated, and upset. He takes it out on his two best friends and pushes them away from him making them become closer to each other, Harry however loves Hermione. What will he do when he sees the out come of his actions? - based after boo


**Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters, they all come from the brilliant mind of J.K. Rowling. The only thing that is from mind is the plot.**

**A/N: I would really appreciate Read and Review, because when I get your reviews it encourages me to continue my writing. Also, I am not rushing this story. I have finally figured out a plot I like and would like to continue it but I want it to be good so therefore no rushing.**

My Own Twisted, by Celestial Tranquility

Chapter One

Hogwarts Express

Numb, it was all numb. Everything from the tip of his toes to the very back of his brain to the very corner of his aching heart, numbness was engulfing his entire being. Normally he would pinch himself, try to gain some kind of feeling so that he knew everything would be ok. As long as he could feel everything would be ok. Well, at the moment he honestly did not want to feel a thing and would prefer just to sit here and be swept away into a dreamless, no feeling, numbing sleep. Anything was better then how he was feeling, how he had been feeling for the entire summer. Complete and utter sadness, frustration, and anger.

He thought that maybe being on the Hogwarts Express knowing he was going back to his school, his home, would cheer him up. Knowing he would be with his two best friends who had never faltered, his family. Well, he had been wrong. Ron had been sending him owls all through the summer and each time Harry had read them he had felt a pang of pain near his heart. Ron reminded him of Sirius and now anytime he was near Ron or Hermione he could see Sirius, right next to them grinning as if to say 'it was all a joke Harry, I never left.' Well, it wasn't a joke and Sirius did leave him, and Harry knew that he was never coming back. Hermione and Ron would and could never understand; they had not even lost one member of their family, let alone have all of them murdered. Not that he wanted that to happen to them, they will never know how he feels…how he will always feel.

And if he had thought that being back on the Hogwarts Express would make him any less lonely; he had just spent the entire summer at The Dursley's, who completely ignored him as always and did not even know or care that his god-father had just been murdered. Now, he was sitting in a compartment on his own while Ron and Hermione took to their Prefect duty of patrolling the corridors of the train. They said they would be back soon, Harry didn't really care anymore. Being as far away from them made them safe, from what? He was still trying to figure that one out.

Squeezing his eyes closed to stop the tears that were threatening to spill out over his eyelids, he bit his lip. He must be strong for Hermione and protect her from this sadness that now takes over him, he must protect Ron and Hermione from something that no one his age should have to go through. He must be strong.

Looking out the window, he watched as the sun began to set slowly over the beautiful countryside. It was truly beautiful and if Harry had been feeling any different he would usually marvel at how gorgeous it was, however, he was sad and frustrated and seeing this marvel of nature only made him more so.

He slammed his fist against his knee and cringed slightly at the pain, so he could feel. He pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose and looked around the compartment. Hedwig was nestled in her cage fast asleep, breathing heavily. Ron had thrown his old dress robes over Pigwidgeon's cage so as to keep the noise down to a bare minimum, Harry could hear the little owl twittering and flying frantically around his cage under the robes. Crookshanks was probably with Hermione patrolling the corridors; Crookshanks enjoyed patrolling with Hermione. Ron had teased her that they were like Mrs. Norris and Filch the caretaker of Hogwarts School of Witch Craft and Wizardry.

Yawning widely, Harry curled up on his chair and rested his head on the compartment wall beside him. He closed his eyes trying to block out any of the images that had been haunting his dreams for the entire summer. Slowly he began to slip into a dreamless, no feeling, numbing sleep.

Crookshanks sauntered past Hermione in the corridor with her tail high in the air, Hermione was watching her cat with a raised eyebrow. "I didn't realise you were behind the door darling!" Crookshanks looked back with an indignant face before walking around a corner and out of sight. Hermione sighed loudly and shook her head, her cat sometimes had a real attitude and she thinks Crookshanks gets it from Ron. "It's all your fault Ron," she mumbled to herself as she ran a hand through her bushy brown hair.

"What did I do this time?"

Hermione jumped in surprised before turning around and finding Ron standing directly behind her with a kind of thunderstruck look on his face. She smiled and found that she had not done so in a long time, it felt good to smile.

"Nothing." She turned away from him and looked down the corridor in the direction Crookshanks had disappeared in, "do you fancy we should go back to our compartment?"

Ron's eye widened slightly and then Hermione saw them fill with concern for their best friend, "Yeah, I suspect so. I dunno if he wants us there though." She shook her head and said, "Yes he does, common lets go." And without looking behind her to see if Ron was following she began to walk back to their compartment.

Hermione reached the compartment first and was looking in it at Harry who was fast asleep on one of the chairs, before suddenly there was a loud _crack_ and someone burst out laughing. She looked over her shoulder behind her and saw Ron on the floor laughing his head off, apparently he had walked into one of the walls in the corridor. Walking quickly over to him she pulled him up by the underarm and placed a finger to her lips.

"Shhhh, Harry's sleeping." She said dragging a now silently laughing Ron into the compartment Harry was resting in.

Ron pulled his arm away from Hermione's grip and rubbed his head where he had hit it on the wall, "That hurt."

Hermione raised an eyebrow, "then why on earth were you laughing?"

Ron shrugged his shoulders before running a hand through his bright red hair, "Dunno, needed a laugh."

Hermione turned away from Ron secretly agreeing with him and looked down at Harry. He looked so peaceful; his lips were slightly parted, and his breath was even and soft. His hair was untidy upon his head and his glasses where slowly moving down the bridge of his nose, threatening to fall off. His face had the expression of someone who had slipped into an enchanted sleep, with no feeling and no worries.

God, Hermione wished she could give him such a thing. Even if it would only be in his sleep.

Ron was watching Hermione with curious eyes, surveying her expression, he could not make out what she was feeling. He turned his eyes to Harry and surveyed his friend. Harry did look peaceful, but recently he had been scaring Ron. Harry had not returned any of Ron's owls except one telling Ron he would meet him at the train station. When they had meet at Kings Cross earlier today he had not even seemed pleased to see them, he had given Ron and Hermione each a half-hearted hug and then immediately went and sat on the train without another word. Ron had gone in to tell him they had to meet up with the other Prefects and that they would be back later and all Harry had done was shrug and turn away.

Harry was scaring Ron.

Harry stirred and both Ron and Hermione looked at each other before sitting down on the opposite side of the compartment. "He'll be ok, he just needs his friends is all…I mean for heavens sake he has been with the Dursley's the entire summer!" Hermione said, her eyes not moving an inch away from Harry.

Ron frowned slightly, "I invited him over, but as I said he was not returning my owls. I'm not even sure if he got any of them."

Sighing Hermione said, "yes…I don't understand Ron, but we should just support him as we have been, I guess."

They nodded in agreement.

Harry lifted his head this time and opened his eyes slowly; he yawned and looked around at his two friends who were now staring at him nervously. He raised an eyebrow and attempted a smile but failed and instead took his glasses off and rubbed his eyes. The feeling was back.

Hermione's voice was timid and small, "are you feeling ok Harry?"

"Yes."

Ron looked briefly at Hermione before trying, "we'll almost be at Hogwarts, another 30 minutes and we'll be there. You wanna play a game of exploding snap? Take your mind off things."

Harry now stared pointedly at Ron, "Take my mind off things? What things do I need to take my mind off Ron? What things are bothering me Ron? Do you really honestly think that exploding snap will take my mind off things, Ron?"

Harry watched as Ron fidgeted nervously in place and Hermione look between the two of them before he sighed loudly and shook his head. He screwed up his face and put it in his hands trying not to let any emotion show. After about 10 seconds he looked back up at Ron who was now looking at him quizzically.

"Sorry mate…I just…"

Ron put up a hand, "No, s'ok man. No worries."

Hermione was biting her lip and apprehension and looked out the window. The compartment was full of an awkwardness that had never been felt between the three of them and she didn't like it, she did not like it at all.

A few moments past and Hermione watched outside the window as the Hogwarts castle slowly came into view. The train began to slow down, and sighing with relief she stood up and said, "common guys, lets get to the feast. I'm starved." And the three best friends made the rest of the trip in complete silence.


End file.
